in 2010 i was 226 lbs.
i’m pretty tall [ 1,80 m or 5’11” ] so the comment usually was “you could be a model… if you were thinner”.
if i was thinner, yeah.
i used to think chocolate, chips and pizza were the only good things in my life because everyone was just rude, mean and disrespectful towards me. they called me names, they mocked me, they made me feel like i was unworthy and hideous. and that’s how i used to feel, like my destiny was already written: “you’re going to be fat for the rest of your life because you’re not strong enough to change things”. then i got tired, then the insults and the fat shaming got enough.
and i changed.
i decided i wanted to become the girl i dreamt to be, i decided i wanted to look good in clothes and without clothes, i decided i wanted to stare at myself in the mirror and say “yeah, you’re beautiful”. i’m 126 lbs now and people still comment on my weight, judge my choices, criticize the fact i am, in their unasked opinion, too thin.
and i get it now: it doesn’t matter how you look or how much you weight, they’ll always try to put you down, they’ll always judge your choices because, since they can, they think they should, because making you feel uncomfortable with yourself makes them feel more comfortable with themselves.
if you want to change, if you want to lose weight or to be different, make sure you’re doing it for yourself because you are the only one you need to please and because you are the only one you need to love in order to make others love you as well.